Trash to Treasure
by Mako3
Summary: [XENOSAGA] Allen's doubting and chaos comes to save the day. PG for shounen ai.


Guess who's back? Back again? Mako's back. Tell a friend. Psh, or whatever. :-) I don't write much but I had a total writing spree two weeks ago. Now I just gotta type it all up. Here's the first of my meager offerings—A Xenosaga shounen-ai fic! Between my two favorite characters no less. I guess there's some spoilers for the beginning of the game. If you don't know what happens to the Woglinde, then be warned. And I don't have a specific time when this happens. So, just use your imagination! Hope you enjoy!  
  


Trash to Treasure  


  
Allen was miserable. This whole trip—hell, his whole life—had just taken a drastic turn and gone up in smoke. . .literally. If he closed his eyes, he could still see pieces of the Woglinde and its unlucky inhabitants who didn't escape in time. All of them floating around in the dark void of space. Allen preferred not to remember the incident. If he thought too much about it. . . well, it was enough to drive a man insane.  
  
The most painful part was Shion thought he didn't care—thought he was as emotionless as the android they worked so hard to create. KOS-MOS. . . How had she woken up anyway? If she had gone berserk, as so many of them feared, would Shion have cared about the victims? Would she notice if Allen died? Maybe that'd be the only way she *would* notice Or care. Maybe. . . just maybe. . .   
  
Penny for your thoughts? spoke a soft voice, intruding on Allen's self-depreciating mindset. The researcher's head snapped up from it's position in his hands.  
  
Oh, hey chaos. Mm, my thoughts right now aren't worth the price. chaos clucked disapprovingly and sat on the couch a scant scooch away from Allen.  
  
You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure'. So come on, tell me what's bothering you.  
  
Allen was never one to just spill his guts out. Especially not to someone he'd only met a few days ago. He wasn't quite to Shion's stage of keeping everything inside, but you had to learn to deal with your own problems. And really, how could telling chaos help? But the young man seemed truly adamant in his concern. And Allen, though it really *had* only been a few days, trusted the strange shipmate. There's always a first time for everything.  
  
Well, I've-uh-just, he wasn't sure how to phrase the thoughts in his head. Allen looked to chaos, then away from the encouraging face. I've been thinking about my role in all this. I just don't fit. The Gnosis. . . they-they killed almost everyone on that ship. I mean, sure, KOS-MOS saved all the Vector employees, but there were other people on the Woglinde! I saw people I've spoke to and gotten to know just floating dead. . . Allen paused, reigning his thoughts back in. He cut crescent-shaped slices into his palm with too tight clenched fists. chaos laid a gentle hand on Allen's shoulder. The fists relaxed.  
  
I can't even begin to imagine. I'm very sorry, even though I know that won't help. Surprisingly though, Allen did feel better. Maybe it was the warm hand on his shoulder. Or perhaps it was just chaos' caring presence. Either way, Allen accepted the good feeling and went on.  
  
The-the worst part of it all is the catastrophe takes second fiddle to this ache inside me. Mostly what I'm thinking about, is Shion.  
  
I really think I might love her. I worry about her all the time, and I just want to keep her safe, you know? But I also know she has some mental blocks when it comes to romance. Kevin. . . well, someone she really connected with, was killed about two years back, and she hasn't quite recovered from that. So I don't want to push her into anything. But. . . it's like she doesn't see me at all. I'm just her faithful subordinate, following at her heel. And I want to be so much more. Allen's voice had reached an almost pleading pitch. His emotions, now that they had surfaced, were taking over and getting the better of him. chaos smiled sympathetically. That was enough for Allen and he continued his explanation.  
  
And worse still than caring more about Shion than the. . . disaster, is now-now I think maybe I should have stayed on the ship. I know it isn't healthy to think that way, but, well, if I'd died on the ship, maybe Shion would have noticed me—cared about me. So I keep half-wishing I was still trapped on the Woglinde. And I hate that I'm not thankful I'm alive! i just- Allen wasn't allowed to finish as chaos had sprung up and turned to face him. The young man reached out and cupped the haunted researcher's face in both hands. Piercing translucent blue eyes too old for their face captured Allen's own cerulean. Allen could do nothing but drown in their depth.  
  
Don't ever think like that Allen! I know it's only been a short time, but I already feel so attached to you. If you had not survived, I could never have met you. And that would be a travesty, chaos leaned even closer to Allen, their foreheads touching and breath tickling each other's lips.  
  
You are a treasure Allen. You have such a good heart, full of loyalty and caring. Anyone would be a fool to throw you away, he said, almost harsh in his emotions. Allen was too shocked to say anything. chaos' gaze softened. I hope, someday, you'll realize other people can see your value and love you. Don't ever give up Allen. chaos lightly brushed his lips over Allen's before turning around to leave the room. Allen was frozen for a few minutes. chaos' lips had been so soft and warm. Allen's own still tingled with the sensation. He felt almost. . . happy. Allen only snapped out of the semi-trance when Shion began calling his name.  
  
Allen? Allen, there you are. Can you come help me with some calculations? Allen didn't respond for a bit, the haze of chaos' care keeping him ensnared.   
  
Yeah, sorry. I'll help, Allen finally got out, then stood to follow the Chief'. Shion nodded and walked slowly, waiting for him. Once again Allen would do her bidding without being noticed, but this time he would smile and not mind. Maybe the beautiful girl with cinnamon hair and a head full of dreams wasn't right for him. And maybe, just maybe, tonight he would dream of silver hair and ocean eyes instead.  
  
It was a wishful dream that he may finally be someone's treasure.  
  
  
End.


End file.
